I am such a sad sap, sometimes, I think. I’m reading an online bulletin board and I find out that an ex is getting married. Not only getting married but having a child.

Now, normally it wouldn’t bother me. I’ve always been able to get over things and move on.

I think, though, that I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m ready to go to the next step. I want to share my life with someone. I want to, perhaps, procreate, if that’s in the cards for us.

It makes me think.

Was I that bad that I couldn’t be the one? I don’t want him anymore but I can’t help but think why he didn’t want me.

Was he ashamed of me? I mean…I’m not a bad catch but why would he not even consider me.

I think another reason I’m bothered by it is that it has been less than a year that we’ve been apart. We’re not teens…far from it. We’re mature adults (I hope!) and I hope that we are more careful about things that we rush into. Did he take time? Does he really love her? Will he be a good father?

I hope the answer is yes to all of those.

But I can’t help wondering.

I know, in the end, I can’t change a thing. I don’t really want to. We weren’t compatible on the level I desire for a life partner.

But it still makes me think.