Archive for April, 2002

The cleaning crew that cleans my office is definitely passive aggressive. I will often find my trash can clear across the room instead of under my desk where I keep it. Or, worse, no trashbag in it and none to be found elsewhere. My chairs are often strewn across the room instead of being placed back where they were when I left. I’ve had all kinds of things, ranging from change for the vending machines to breath mints and candy to pens and paper disappear from my desk overnight. I lock my door when I leave so I can only believe that it’s either gremlins or the cleaning crew trying to mess with my mind.

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The Gin Blossoms were awesome. They sounded great and put on a good show. I live in Northern Arizona and we rarely get big-named bands coming up here. This was a real treat for us. They don’t have a new album in the works but it didn’t matter. I got to sing Allison Road at the top of my lungs right along with the rest of the crowd.

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I want to thank those of you who have been reading my blogs. Some of the things you say make me smile bigtime.

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I took my niece to the circus this weekend, also. There were a lot of people protesting the circus for cruelty to animals. Being an animal lover, I’m usually careful about the things I attend. However, I saw nothing but love and care for the animals at this circus.

My niece rode on the camel and absolutely loved it. She wanted to keep going again and again. I love her 3-year-old bravery.

The idea of dreams has been filling my thoughts lately: realized, potential, far-fetched, discarded, and lost.  I think I’ve reached that age where I’m having to come to terms with life…that it may not be what I wanted it to be.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be President.  When I reached my teens, I scaled that dream back a bit and decided I wanted to be an attorney that dealt with women’s issues.  I was on one of the top ranked debate teams in the country when I got to college so that dream didn’t seem too hard to attain.  I got caught up in things that weren’t good for me, though.  I went through my rebellious stage in college rather than high school and ended up taking a detour midway through my schooling.  I moved to the Phoenix area, met a young man, and started a five year relationship that would forever change my life.

I went from one abusive relationship to another.  I was lost and wandering around the world, searching for something…but I didn’t know what it was.  If you remember that song that goes something like “I’ve been to “…” but I’ve never been to me,” that was my theme song.  I lived in wonderful places from Boulder, Colorado to San Francisco to London and many other places in-between.  I was searching, following my heart I thought, and getting myself into more and more trouble.

I finally came home in the summer of 1998 but my troubles weren’t over.  It would take me another three years before I actually settled down and started taking care of myself.  I’ve been through tons of therapy, have a job I really love, and am taking one class at a time to get that degree that has alluded me for so long. 

I’m 35 years old.  Is that too old to realize a dream?

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My boyfriend and I went to see The Rookie last night.  It fit right in with the dream theme.  Dennis Quaid is definitely believable in this true story about a man who makes it to the big leagues at an age (35) when pitchers are usually retiring.  It’s about second chances and realizing a dream.  I loved it.  I’m a sap and cried through half of the movie.