I’ve been doing the whole Weight Watchers things since the middle of October. My sister joined with me then. It was fun. It became a bonding session for her and I. We haven’t always been close (there are 10 years between us) and I was grateful for the time with her, alone, away from the rest of the family. I loved spending that time with her, sharing something with her.

In March, she found out she is pregnant and our Weight Watchers does not allow pregnant women to even attend meetings. She didn’t want to weigh in or anything, just stay up on healthy eating and sharing with all of us. She wasn’t allowed.

I have lost 42 pounds since October. Since my sister has left, I’ve gone up and down, unable to continue on the steady weight loss track that I was on before, while she was there. I feel her departure deeply. Yes, she’s still in town but that chasm between us has grown again and I really miss her. I’ve tried to reach out but it has been difficult. A wall has gone up between us for some reason. Some people say it’s her pregnancy. Others say that maybe it’s her weight gain (not that I can tell if she’s gaining weight…she looks the same to me). I don’t know. I feel like I’ve lost her again.

So, this week, I’m going to try to get back on track for me. I’m going to a pilates class Monday through Thursday for 45 minutes (one of the dance instructors here is doing it for employees). I’m going to watch my points better. I’m going to take care of me.

I’ve made great strides in where I’m going. I just need to get there now. For me.