I am not the type of person who watches the scale. I never have been. Some might say it’s obvious, now that I’m overweight, that I may not care enough about myself to watch a scale. I feel, however, that I will not allow my life to be ruled by what society may deem is normal.

Let me tell you a story.

I haven’t always been heavy. In fact, at 5’10″, I have, for the majority of my life, been on the very skinny side. I weighed in at 125 pounds when I was 25. That’s too thin for my build. I looked svelte, sure. I could have modeled with a body like that (if I had the classic beauty that is required for that sort of thing). I was athletic, active, and young.

I was also in pain. I was told, often, that I was fat. I was told that I didn’t wear tight enough clothes. I was told that I needed to lose weight.

Wait a minute. I was 5’10″ and 125 pounds. I was fat??? I am not a petite woman. I never will be. I’m about 8 inches too tall to be considered petite and I will NEVER weight under 140 pounds again. It’s not healthy for me.

I’ve read that ridiculing overweight people (women, mostly) is the last frontier of society-condoned abuse. It’s ok to laugh at that woman who is struggling to get into clothes that are made for women who look like children. It’s ok to say that she needs to eat less because we all know that it’s only food that makes people fat. *snort* It’s ok to say that you would never love, sleep with, have a relationship with a heavy woman…but have you looked at yourself lately??? You ain’t no prize, either, honey.

I probably would have never thought about losing weight if I hadn’t been to my doctor. I was comfortable. I was happy in my own skin. I didn’t think of myself as fat but as a woman who has curves, hips, and breasts. I’m a woman. We have those things, you know. My partner, bless his heart, has told me that I’m beautiful in all of my shapes and forms. He loved me at my largest and he is loving me now, as I shrink in size. When I weigh less than he does, I’m thinking he will still love me.

I am born, however, with several genes that make it horrible for me to be even a little overweight. I have the gene that gives me high cholesterol. If I am slightly overweight, my chances for heart attack or system shutdowns increase. I have asthma that is affected by my weight. The heavier I am, the worse it is. It had gotten to the point of where I was feeling like I was suffocating everytime I laid down to go to bed.

My doctor, thank goodness for her, did not want to put me on medications that I would have to spend a lifetime taking. She wanted to try weight loss first and see if that helped my health problems.

It has worked. It has helped me and it will continue to get better as I lose weight.

I know some of you are thinking that I may talk about my weight more than I need to and that I dwell on it. I’ll tell you, though, that I’m disappointed in how we treat one another…especially if that person is overweight. It seems that society has lost compassion and treats people with obesity as pariahs. You know that chicken sandwich you got at Wendy’s yesterday? You know how much you enjoyed it? I enjoy them, too. It’s just that my body doesn’t break them down as quickly or as efficiently as yours so it’s bad for me to eat it. I can’t eat jumbo sized anything because my body doesn’t know how to deal with it likes yours may. I don’t eat a lot of food. In fact, I may eat less than you do on any given day.

There are many other reasons, than just eating a lot of food, that makes someone overweight.

Have some compassion. Be a bit more understanding. None of is, thankfully, perfect. We are all perfect in our imperfections.

Peace.