I’m tired. I mean, I’m really tired. I feel exhausted from the inside out.

I know I should probably take some vacation time but I want to save it for a trip to Italy in the spring, if we’re still going. I also hate using vacation because I worry about things happening and then I won’t have enough sick and vacation to cover me if I need it.

I’m taking a “vacation” in a few weeks. However, it’s a working vacation. I take time off of my regular job to work out at the fairgrounds during the county fair. This job requires long hours (15 hour days, normally), hot stoves, and grumpy people. I’ve been cooking for the hospitality house for 4 years and this is the first time I’ve dreaded it. I wish I could back out but it’s too late to do that.

I’m nearing the end of the summer semester. I’m thankful for that. School has worn me out this summer.

I think, though, that the exhaustion is coming from a few other areas. I feel like I haven’t had much time for myself and I need it. It feeds me. It’s nourishment. It allows me to regroup and recharge.

My boss, whom I really like, is leaving. He is going back to school to pursue his second master’s degree and is leaving this week. He is, without a doubt, the best supervisor I’ve ever had. I’ve enjoyed working with him. He has been incredibly supportive in difficult situations. He told me yesterday that he worries that work will be worse for me after he’s gone (we have a few individuals here who love to make life difficult for others and I seem to be the target for them lately). I think I’m stressed about that and it’s making me tired, too.

I just want to curl up and go to sleep right now.