Archive for August, 2003
Wednesday August 27, 2003
Aug 27th
I was forced to write last night. I’m taking my junior writing class and the instructor was late. He left a note that told us to write about an event…to write from the first person. He wants to know how we write, what our style is.
I couldn’t shut up. I wrote 3 pages by the time he showed up. Others in the class were done and talking and I was still writing.
It was like something came alive in me. I wanted to use inventive words, colorful phrases, make him feel and see what I was feeling and seeing. I wanted him to share the experience with me. I didn’t even know him yet and I wanted this to happen.
I feel alive being back at the university. I feel like I’m a part of a bigger thing. I feel like I’m taking care of myself. I feel rejuvenated.
It’s weird, though. I recognize the halls that I’ve walked but I’ve forgotten where everything is. I found two men’s restrooms last night but not one women’s. I had to wait 3 hours until I got home to go to the bathroom because I was too shy to ask.
I’m scouting it out next week, though. I will know where the restroom is even if I have to go up and down every hall.
rejuvenated
Aug 27th
I was forced to write last night. I’m taking my junior writing class and the instructor was late. He left a note that told us to write about an event…to write from the first person. He wants to know how we write, what our style is.
I couldn’t shut up. I wrote 3 pages by the time he showed up. Others in the class were done and talking and I was still writing.
It was like something came alive in me. I wanted to use inventive words, colorful phrases, make him feel and see what I was feeling and seeing. I wanted him to share the experience with me. I didn’t even know him yet and I wanted this to happen.
I feel alive being back at the university. I feel like I’m a part of a bigger thing. I feel like I’m taking care of myself. I feel rejuvenated.
It’s weird, though. I recognize the halls that I’ve walked but I’ve forgotten where everything is. I found two men’s restrooms last night but not one women’s. I had to wait 3 hours until I got home to go to the bathroom because I was too shy to ask.
I’m scouting it out next week, though. I will know where the restroom is even if I have to go up and down every hall.
ewww
Aug 26th
There is a strange phenomenon taking place in the college world today. I noticed a drastic difference between going to a community college which is populated mostly with returning, non-traditional students (over 25, married, children, etc) and going to a state university that is populated with kids straight out of high school.
I walk into my Spanish class at the university and sit down. I’m fairly surprised that there is one other person that is noticeably older than I am and delighted, too, because I didn’t want to feel like the old fogey. 
While I’m sitting, waiting for the instructor, I notice a new trend that has been occurring while I’ve been sequestered in my lovely office.
It seems that young men are now wearing pants that don’t sag as much and are even wearing belts. They wear those big huge belts but they are wearing belts.
The disturbing trend, however, is that young women are now wearing the pants that hang below their hips (didn’t these used to be called hip-huggers in the 70s?). While those pants don’t normally bother me, what is alarming is that they are wearing them a size or two too large and they actually hang OFF their hips…showing the world their…BUTT CRACK.
Seriously. Girls now have Plumber’s Crack.
I don’t really want to see your raggy flowery underwear (or worse, the straps of your thong). Really…I don’t. It’s not attractive to me.
I don’t need to see the billows of your panties coming out from beneath your too large pants because you think that’s cool.
Call me old-fashioned but it’s really unattractive to see your panties poof up as you slide down into that chair.
Not to mention distracting.
Monday August 25, 2003
Aug 25th
I’m the descendent of slave owners. I’m not simply the descendent of slave owners but I’m the descendent of slave traders, owners of one of the largest “slave houses” in the Carolinas.
This embarrasses me. I don’t have any control over it but it embarrasses me. I hate that my name is attached to that kind of a horrific act.
I’m torn, too. Is it ok for me to be embarrassed? Should I admit to this connection? I watch programs and read about the slave industry and I feel for those who were slaves. I watch programs where descendents of slaves say that we will never understand the stigma that comes from being a slave. That’s true. I hope I never will. I do understand, though, that deep seeded humiliation of being connected to something so atrocious.
I wonder if those who are descendents of Nazis feel the same (just for the record, I have a lot of German blood in me and I’ve never taken pride in that because of the connection to Nazis – even though my descendents came here in the 16th and 17th centuries).
I’m one of those people who has a low tolerance for racial slurs. I’ve had people leave my house when they persisted in telling racial “jokes.”
I wonder, though, if I’m being too empathetic, too connected to that past. Am I taking on too much?
forefathers
Aug 25th
I’m the descendent of slave owners. I’m not simply the descendent of slave owners but I’m the descendent of slave traders, owners of one of the largest “slave houses” in the Carolinas.
This embarrasses me. I don’t have any control over it but it embarrasses me. I hate that my name is attached to that kind of a horrific act.
I’m torn, too. Is it ok for me to be embarrassed? Should I admit to this connection? I watch programs and read about the slave industry and I feel for those who were slaves. I watch programs where descendents of slaves say that we will never understand the stigma that comes from being a slave. That’s true. I hope I never will. I do understand, though, that deep seeded humiliation of being connected to something so atrocious.
I wonder if those who are descendents of Nazis feel the same (just for the record, I have a lot of German blood in me and I’ve never taken pride in that because of the connection to Nazis – even though my descendents came here in the 16th and 17th centuries).
I’m one of those people who has a low tolerance for racial slurs. I’ve had people leave my house when they persisted in telling racial “jokes.”
I wonder, though, if I’m being too empathetic, too connected to that past. Am I taking on too much?
Wednesday August 20, 2003
Aug 20th
Monsoon season has been pretty nice this year. We’v gotten some of those amazing downpours that you’d never go out into but that are so much fun to watch from inside. The lightening crackles right outside your window and the thunder booms so loud you jump even though it doesn’t scare you and you knew it was coming.
I love this time of the year. I love how the night air is chilled, with a promise of autumn right around the corner. I love how everything that had turned brown returns with a vengence and grows faster than you can keep up with it. I love how the ground sinks beneath your steps instead of kicking up dust.
I’m going to miss the rain today. It might not sound like a big deal but I love it. I’m heading down to Phoenix with my youngest brother, my niece, and my new nephew for my other brother’s surprise birthday party. We’re heading to his favorite restaurant (Riazzi’s for those of you in the Valley) for a few hours to surprise him and then heading back up to home. It’s only a few hours but it’s still enough to miss out on the evening rain shower.
I know that it’s silly to miss rain. However, we really don’t get a lot of it. It seems that some years we have only 2 seasons, snowy and sunny…and sometimes those are combined for 9 or 10 months of the year. Rain is different…it’s nourishing, enriching, fully of amazing power.
We may live in a forest up here but it’s still considered desert. And in the desert, rain is life.
monsoons
Aug 20th
Monsoon season has been pretty nice this year. We’v gotten some of those amazing downpours that you’d never go out into but that are so much fun to watch from inside. The lightening crackles right outside your window and the thunder booms so loud you jump even though it doesn’t scare you and you knew it was coming.
I love this time of the year. I love how the night air is chilled, with a promise of autumn right around the corner. I love how everything that had turned brown returns with a vengence and grows faster than you can keep up with it. I love how the ground sinks beneath your steps instead of kicking up dust.
I’m going to miss the rain today. It might not sound like a big deal but I love it. I’m heading down to Phoenix with my youngest brother, my niece, and my new nephew for my other brother’s surprise birthday party. We’re heading to his favorite restaurant (Riazzi’s for those of you in the Valley) for a few hours to surprise him and then heading back up to home. It’s only a few hours but it’s still enough to miss out on the evening rain shower.
I know that it’s silly to miss rain. However, we really don’t get a lot of it. It seems that some years we have only 2 seasons, snowy and sunny…and sometimes those are combined for 9 or 10 months of the year. Rain is different…it’s nourishing, enriching, fully of amazing power.
We may live in a forest up here but it’s still considered desert. And in the desert, rain is life.
Tuesday August 19, 2003
Aug 19th
Ok…so, school starts next week and I’m taking 15 hours on top of working 40-50 hours a week. I’m in the process of trying to buy some land (2 1/2 acres) and a house (this back and forth thing is killing me…why can’t they just accept my offer? It’s a really good one!!! Heh). I’m getting another dog next week. My job is getting busier and busier as I take on more responsibilities in the human resources arena while still maintaining my systems analyst functions.
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
Ok…that felt better. *laugh* Not really.
I keep thinking that being a property owner will allow me to get some animals and then I’ll be able to do great writings about their whimsical personalities like snowpeanut does. Now, that will be fun! 
I’m taking my junior level writing discipline class, a contemporary lit class, spanish, and a psychology class. I’m so close to getting my bachelor’s that I can almost taste it. I just hope I don’t kill myself this year.
Ok…I’m back. Really. Really. 
stress
Aug 19th
Ok…so, school starts next week and I’m taking 15 hours on top of working 40-50 hours a week. I’m in the process of trying to buy some land (2 1/2 acres) and a house (this back and forth thing is killing me…why can’t they just accept my offer? It’s a really good one!!! Heh). I’m getting another dog next week. My job is getting busier and busier as I take on more responsibilities in the human resources arena while still maintaining my systems analyst functions.
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
Ok…that felt better. *laugh* Not really.
I keep thinking that being a property owner will allow me to get some animals and then I’ll be able to do great writings about their whimsical personalities like snowpeanut does. Now, that will be fun!
I’m taking my junior level writing discipline class, a contemporary lit class, spanish, and a psychology class. I’m so close to getting my bachelor’s that I can almost taste it. I just hope I don’t kill myself this year.
Ok…I’m back. Really. Really.
