Yesterday’s blog brought in some really great dialogue.  You all can’t even begin to understand how much I appreciate the really incredible and thoughtful replies that you left.

They did leave me with a thought, of course. 

When do we actually intervene?  Do we wait until we see a man abusing a woman…I mean, physically punching her?  Do we wait until we see a parent dragging his/her child by the hair to the car when they are screaming in the stores?  Is it a more subtle moment when we decide to intervene?  Could it be when we hear verbal abuse going on (as I believe I did at Target that day)?  Is it when the hairs on our necks stands straight up and tells us something is wrong?

We’re told that we should intervene when we see something going on.  But we’re also told that we shouldn’t.  We’re told to call the police (or other authorities) but then told we should butt out.

How do we determine when is the right time?

As someone who comes from an abusive relationship, I can honestly say that I wish someone had intervened.  I thought I was crazy.  I thought I was imagining the abuse.  I thought it must not be as bad as it was.  Someone coming in and saying it was enough would have helped me get out quicker, I think.  I needed the affirmation that what was going on was not ok.

I wonder, though, if this all makes me that much more sensitive to what I perceive as abuse.  I, again, start to question what I’m seeing.  Am I seeing abuse or am I reading things into situations.

It’s a hard line to figure out.  I don’t want to be party to abuse but I also don’t want to overstep any boundaries that might not be mine to overstep.