doctoral candidate in rhetoric and scientific and technical communication
Archive for November, 2004
memories
0I’m going to move in a different direction.
Next semester, I’m taking a creative nonfiction writing course. I’ve taken a lower level course of this same name and I loved it so I’m looking forward to this one. It’s also being taught by a well-respected writer in this community so it should be interesting.
To start preparing myself for different types of writing, I’m going to use some prompts from a local graduate student’s website (http://www.poewar.com/index.php?p=39).
What are your very earliest memories?
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My memories from this time period are very hazy but are ones that I’ve held for such a long time.
I can remember being very young, living in Florida. My dad was away in the Navy.
The first memory seems gray. The walls were gray. The floor was gray. The color of the air seems to be gray. I can’t see any color in this memory whatsoever.
I am in a small kitchen, 60s era. I can see the stove and it’s an old-fashioned stove (but probably current for that time).
I can see my mom. She’s sitting on the floor. Her hands are to her face. She’s crying. She’s sobbing.
My brother (my only sibling at the time), is sitting next to her. He’s crying.
I sit on the other side of her.
I don’t know if I cried or not. I just remember the sorrow that I felt at that moment. It seems like it was the deepest despair.
It hurts.
—
During the same time period:
My brother and I are out in the Florida sun. There are ant hills. We were making mudpies filled with ants.
I see the color yellow. I don’t know if it’s the color of the house, a car, our clothes, or the feeling of the sun. It’s yellow…everywhere is yellow.
—
A hurricane had come though. I think it may have been Camille. I’m pretty sure it was. It was big. The biggest that had been recorded.
I’m looking at a swimming pool and there is a tree in it.
Tree boughs float like ghostly apparitions within the blue-green water.
Leaves and branches are scattered all around.
The sky is gray.
Wednesday November 17, 2004
0I’m going to move in a different direction.
Next semester, I’m taking a creative nonfiction writing course. I’ve taken a lower level course of this same name and I loved it so I’m looking forward to this one. It’s also being taught by a well-respected writer in this community so it should be interesting.
To start preparing myself for different types of writing, I’m going to use some prompts from a local graduate student’s website (http://www.poewar.com/index.php?p=39).
What are your very earliest memories?
—
My memories from this time period are very hazy but are ones that I’ve held for such a long time.
I can remember being very young, living in Florida. My dad was away in the Navy.
The first memory seems gray. The walls were gray. The floor was gray. The color of the air seems to be gray. I can’t see any color in this memory whatsoever.
I am in a small kitchen, 60s era. I can see the stove and it’s an old-fashioned stove (but probably current for that time).
I can see my mom. She’s sitting on the floor. Her hands are to her face. She’s crying. She’s sobbing.
My brother (my only sibling at the time), is sitting next to her. He’s crying.
I sit on the other side of her.
I don’t know if I cried or not. I just remember the sorrow that I felt at that moment. It seems like it was the deepest despair.
It hurts.
—
During the same time period:
My brother and I are out in the Florida sun. There are ant hills. We were making mudpies filled with ants.
I see the color yellow. I don’t know if it’s the color of the house, a car, our clothes, or the feeling of the sun. It’s yellow…everywhere is yellow.
—
A hurricane had come though. I think it may have been Camille. I’m pretty sure it was. It was big. The biggest that had been recorded.
I’m looking at a swimming pool and there is a tree in it.
Tree boughs float like ghostly apparitions within the blue-green water.
Leaves and branches are scattered all around.
The sky is gray.
believe (part 1)
0The wildest colts make the best horses.
~Plutarch~
I live the symptoms of life everyday.
When I’m stressed, I tend to get sick easily. I’m sick right now and have been since midway through my vacation. I’m wondering if it’s due to stress.
When I feel like I’m alone or I need protection, I tend to invert myself. I curl up in a ball. I take a protective position.
I protect myself because if I don’t, who will?
I am learning to believe that when I venture out, when I take a chance, that I can go and be free and still know there is a safe place for me to return if I become fearful or worried.
I am learning that I’m not alone.
I am learning to take that hand that is offered to me and to believe in the person at the other end.
I’m trying to believe. I’m trying to believe there is somewhere for me to go when I’m fearful or worried. I don’t know where that is, though. I’m trying to believe that I’m not alone…but I don’t know where to turn. I’m trying to believe that there will be a hand offered to me…but I don’t know where it will come from.
I wrote this in another blog yesterday:
So, what’s going on is this: I’m questioning my ability to be in a healthy relationship.
I’m wondering if I have what it takes. I’m wondering if I have the ability to give what it takes and to accept the overall goodness of another human being.
Can I trust?
Oh, yeah…I have those trust issues. I’ve never been able to trust anyone else as much as myself and letting go of that fear is difficult.
I want to believe.
I want to think that if I let go, I won’t fall.
I need to believe that.
One reader left me a quote that I really liked.
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
~ John A. Shedd
am i worthy?
0So, what’s going on is this: I’m questioning my ability to be in a healthy relationship.
I’m wondering if I have what it takes. I’m wondering if I have the ability to give what it takes and to accept the overall goodness of another human being.
Can I trust?
Oh, yeah…I have those trust issues. I’ve never been able to trust anyone else as much as myself and letting go of that fear is difficult.
I want to believe.
I want to think that if I let go, I won’t fall.
I need to believe that.
Tuesday November 16, 2004
0So, what’s going on is this: I’m questioning my ability to be in a healthy relationship.
I’m wondering if I have what it takes. I’m wondering if I have the ability to give what it takes and to accept the overall goodness of another human being.
Can I trust?
Oh, yeah…I have those trust issues. I’ve never been able to trust anyone else as much as myself and letting go of that fear is difficult.
I want to believe.
I want to think that if I let go, I won’t fall.
I need to believe that.
lost
07 years ago
by dawn
in just a thought
I’m home from Vancouver. I now have to settle back into my regular life.
I think that’s going to be hard. I’m not sure I want to.
I’m not sure what I want to do.
I feel a bit lost right now.
Monday November 15, 2004
0I’m home from Vancouver. I now have to settle back into my regular life.
I think that’s going to be hard. I’m not sure I want to.
I’m not sure what I want to do.
I feel a bit lost right now.
vacnouver ~ through my eyes
0I decided to take snowpeanut’s advice and share what I’m seeing through pictures I’ve taken instead of words this time.
Vancouver, during the day, from the Commercial Drive area
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Bagpipers during the Remembrance Day Parade on Commercial Drive
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at the war memorial
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at Victoria Park: il bocci. These guys are so much fun to watch play bocci ball.
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watching il bocci in Victoria Park
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enjoying a sunny day in Victoria Park
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autumn colors
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gourds
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There are many open air markets all along commercial drive. The fruits and vegetables smell amazing!
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It was actually quite chilly out and he was braving the weather. What you can’t see is the little girl playing the drums on his back as he beats the drums in front. It was the cutest thing but I couldn’t get her in any of the shots.
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Vancouver, during the night, from the Commercial Drive area
Friday November 12, 2004
0I decided to take snowpeanut’s advice and share what I’m seeing through pictures I’ve taken instead of words.
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Vancouver during the day from the area I’m in.
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Remembrance Day Parade – Bagpipers
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At the war monument
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At Victoria Park, il bocci. These guys are so much fun to watch play bocci ball.
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Watching bocci at Victoria Park.
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Enjoying a sunny day at Victoria Park.
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Summer or Fall?
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Autumn colors
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The open air markets are wonderful and all of the fruits and vegetables smell delightful.
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Enjoying a cool autumn day in the park. It was actually chilly out and he was definitely braving the cool air.
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Vancouver at night from the same position as the day image.
I hope you enjoy!
Thursday November 11, 2004
0Besides needing the sleep, there’s probably a reason I’ve been sleeping so much while on vacation. I woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat and today I am having trouble even talking.
The friend I mentioned yesterday has been giving me cough medicine because the coughing starting last night. Again, it’s very nice to be cared for in this manner.
I want to get out and take some pictures. The trees are absolutely lovely right now and when the northern sun hits them, it seems like the world is aglow. Back home, all of this beautiful color is long gone and it’s so wonderful to be in the center of it again.
What is really stunning to me is the range of colors. I walk down the front steps of my friend’s house and there is a moss of green along the sidewalk. I want to see it in the sunlight and see it glow. There are plants with beautiful purple stems and big green leaves. There are ivies and grasses.
Yesterday we went to a park and watched some older Italian men and some younger Hispanic men playing bocci. Oh, how I love bocci! I want to go back and take pictures of them playing. Their faces are so expressive and beautiful.
I saw a young woman reading a book yesterday. She was under a ray of sunlight and she was glowing. It was the perfect picture.
It’s funny what being in the middle of a pedestrian city can do to your photographic eye. I’m not used to seeing so many people out and about like this. It’s like eye candy and my senses are almost overwhelmed. I want to go out and shoot but I think I can’t do it all as much justice as it may deserve.
Hopefully today will be just as nice as yesterday and I may get a chance to practice, though. I know I’ll never get better if I’m not practicing.