confidence

I’m feeling more confidence, I think. No. I know I’m feeling more confidence. I’m feeling more at ease in my own skin. I”m feeling more self-assured.

I’m feeling more sexy.

I’m feeling more beautiful.

I don’t know why these things are happening except that they are and I’m enjoying it. I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. I mean, a VERY LONG time. I probably haven’t felt this way about myself since my very early 20s…long before my life changed and I changed and the world around me shifted.

I walk with confidence. I smile more. I take delight in being appealing but in subtle ways. I still don’t wear makeup and I still don’t dress in short little mini-skirts. But I feel pretty.

—

Every day, I walk. I take a break from work in the morning, before it gets too hot and again in the afternoon, when it clouds over, and I walk around the campus. Four laps around is a mile. I put on my headphones, crank up the mp3s and I walk to the beat.

Along the backside, where no one parks and no one is visible, I tend to let loose. I dance. My steps change, my body moves with the rhythm, my hands move to the beat, I sing out loud. I enjoy the feel of being out and enjoying my time.

I found out, however, that security often sees me doing my little dances. They see me on the cameras. They tease me.

I can’t stop, though.

It FEELS good.

I don’t want that to ever stop.