Life is too short to play games when it comes to emotions or matters of the heart. I want to be in a mature, communicative relationship. I won’t do that silly “wait 3 days before calling” thing. I want to move forward.

I think that when you’re getting to know someone, the most difficult part is understanding how he works. Does he want me to probe, learn about his life that way? Does he want me to be patient, listen to the subtle cues he gives? We may come from extremely different backgrounds with diverse experiences and how will that manifest itself in the “getting to know you” stage?

This is where I’m most impatient. I’m an impetuous soul. If I feel something, if I think it will be good for me, if I enjoy it, I will rush in. I want to feel the joy and euphoria. It comes around so seldom that when it does, I want to wrap my arms around it and hold it close. Is this smothering? I suppose it could be. Am I too much? I suppose I could be. When I give myself, I give all of me…good, bad, indifferent. I will give the world.

Sometimes the world is too much.

I teeter on that fine line of patience and impatience. I want to be patient, give time and space. I want to rush in and share joy, though, too.

I’m trying to find out where that line is and what is right to do in my life.

This is not the easiest of lessons.

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“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves … Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~