I’m feeling more confidence, I think.  No.  I know I’m feeling more confidence.  I’m feeling more at ease in my own skin.  I”m feeling more self-assured.

I’m feeling more sexy.

I’m feeling more beautiful.

I don’t know why these things are happening except that they are and I’m enjoying it.  I haven’t felt this way in a very long time.  I mean, a VERY LONG time.  I probably haven’t felt this way about myself since my very early 20s…long before my life changed and I changed and the world around me shifted.

I walk with confidence.  I smile more.  I take delight in being appealing but in subtle ways.  I still don’t wear makeup and I still don’t dress in short little mini-skirts.  But I feel pretty.

—

Every day, I walk.  I take a break from work in the morning, before it gets too hot and again in the afternoon, when it clouds over, and I walk around the campus.  Four laps around is a mile.  I put on my headphones, crank up the mp3s and I walk to the beat.

Along the backside, where no one parks and no one is visible, I tend to let loose.  I dance.  My steps change, my body moves with the rhythm, my hands move to the beat, I sing out loud.  I enjoy the feel of being out and enjoying my time.

I found out, however, that security often sees me doing my little dances.    They see me on the cameras.  They tease me.

I can’t stop, though. 

It FEELS good.

I don’t want that to ever stop.