I’m on vacation this week.  It’s spring break at school so I took the week off from work, as well.  That means that I don’t get on my computer as much.  Mostly because I want to be doing things other than what I do day in and day out for work…computers.

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I have a classmate who is a few years older than I am.  We are, easily, the two oldest people in my linguistics class.  She is an amazing woman who has a lot of knowledge that she doesn’t really share.

Why doesn’t she?  She has what is called “chemo-brain”.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago and underwent chemo.  She also went through trials to determine what effects chemo has on the brain and body (besides its obvious effects on cancer).

Chemotherapy is poison.  It kills cancerous cells but it also kills other cells that we need.  This study determined that a loss of memory and simple motor functions occurs when a patient undergoes a series of chemo.

My classmate has told me that she has a lot to contribute but by the time it gets from her brain to her mouth, we’ve moved on.  She also says that sometimes the words don’t come out right.  She’s thinking about what needs to be said but that isn’t what comes out of her mouth.

It has affected her self-esteem.  She told me that before the chemo, she could do anything.  Her papers were clear and well-written.  She was able to contribute to the classroom discussions.

She said that it’s even hard to get dressed sometimes.  She’s in the bedroom getting ready and forgets what she was going to do.

Chemo-brain.

It hurts my heart to even think about this.  People are dealing with this horrendous disease and then the one cure that they count on immobilizes parts of their lives.

On one hand, you’re going to live.  On the other, you’re losing a basic part of yourself.

I can’t even begin to imagine what that is like.