doctoral candidate in rhetoric and scientific and technical communication
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milestones
Yesterday was my 39th birthday.
I suddenly felt old. There haven’t been many birthdays that have made me feel that way but this one did.
My brother said it was because I’ve been sick (and still am recovering) and because I’m so tired. It’s been a long, difficult semester and I’m worn out.
I don’t know if that’s it.
Part of it was that I was taking stock of my life.
I’m not married.
I don’t have any kids.
I don’t have many friends.
Besides my family, I can count on one hand the friends who remembered my birthday (and all of you read my blog – so thank you for remembering – two friends I have never met and 2 friends I have).
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My brother told a parable to his daughter yesterday. He told her the story of the tortoise and hare – with a twist. He was the tortoise and I was the hare and it had to do with our education.
He has told me to slow down. He says I don’t need to go full-time in graduate school. He says that working full-time and going to school full-time is making me sick. I don’t have time for fun. I don’t have time to relax. I am working, working, working – getting sick – working, working, working – getting sick. There is nothing else.
I worry about slowing down. I want to get my degrees. I want to reach my goals.
But I don’t want to die doing it.
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I’m feeling old.
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Take it easy, girl, you’re wanting too much too fast. In our old age, we’re supposed to take it easy, like an Eagle’s song. We have plenty of years ahead, and we don’t have to eat a couple of dozen pillls a day to get through it, like the snowbirds do.
Breathe. Enjoy.
The next thing you know, we’ll be driving down the street with our blinkers on.
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#5 written by cathelin 6 years ago
…*considering look*…
you know… all these things…your education, for example. i know how important that is for you — or have some idea, anyway. but you can’t enjoy them if you don’t have your health.take care of yourself. if not FOR yourself, than for the people who love you. like me. and dakota. and willow. [not in order, clearly.. *smile*]
*hugs you much*
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Happy belated birthday, Dawn. In my blog, you noted that your mother was upset over Eugene McCarthy’s death and was telling you stories about him since you didn’t remember. I thought that may be a coded way of hinting at how old I am… but suppose you don’t remember much since I was ten when he was running which would have put you barely in diapers. I hope your brithday was special and good luck in schoo.