the in crowd
I think I try too hard. I want to be liked by people so much sometimes that I try too hard.
Or, worse, I want to be part of a group of people so badly that I will try too hard.
There is this group online that I am, obstensibly, a member of and I’m supposedly someone that others are supposed to turn to for help. However, the people that I am supposed to turn to for help never respond to me.
I’m stuck in this center space and I’m not sure what to do.
I start to question myself. Did I push my way in? Am I good enough to be a part of the group? Are they ignoring me? Do they not want me there?
I hate that. I really do.
I hate questioning myself so much.
I have to quit living in my head too much.

Dear Dawn,
I just had to comment on this one. You have a fine mind, lean back and breathe. You have so many talents rolled into one person and it can be overwhelming at times.
“As we practice, we patiently refuse
the domination of thoughts and opinions about
events, about people; and we constantly
turn back
to the only certain reality:
the present moment.”
Charlotte Joko beck