photo by me

Dating sucks.

It sucks even more when you’re nearly 40, you’ve never been married (so people wonder what’s wrong with you), you’re somewhat reclusive/introverted, and you don’t know how to meet guys unless it’s online.

Seriously.

I wouldn’t know how to meet a local guy locally if I was pushed head first into it.

So I meet men online. I’ve been doing it for nearly 15 years at this point (and some have been okay and some not so okay). But that’s how I do it.

So, I’m talking to a man online (a younger man, as it may be – someone I probably wouldn’t consider normally but there is very little chance that it will go anywhere because he’s moving to Oregon soon). Yeah. He lives in my town. I could probably see him within 15-20 minutes if traffic was good.

We’ve been talking onliine for a month. Have we met? No. Have we talked on the phone? No. Have we even exchanged names? Nope.

But all of a sudden, his move date has been pushed up and I say to him, “Wow. That’s soon. Maybe we can meet for coffee (or since I don’t drink coffee, tea) before you leave.”

Ack!

And he replies, “My week is open.”

Uhhh. I didn’t mean right away. Ummm. Runaway. Runaway. Scared. Frightened. Good god.

I’m 39 years old and men (even 10 years my junior) still have the ability to make me act like a little girl.

Sheesh.

You would think I’d be over it by now.

But the plain truth is that I love men. I adore them. I like talking to them. I like hanging out with them. I like hearing their perspectives on things.

And I like the way that a look, a simple look, can make me weak in the knees.

And that all scares me at the same time.

I haven’t responded yet. Maybe I’ll suggest meeting for lunch sometime.

Not this week.

Maybe next.