photo by me

I think I have guardian angels. And if they aren’t guardian angels, they are surrogate parents. I wonder if I exude the need for someone to care for me, to take care of me.

That’s an odd notion considering that I’ve lived on my own for so long.

However, I think that between the cancer, getting sick all of the time, and discernible signs of stress, people see this need to watch out for me because I don’t seem to do a good job of it myself.

My brother, Todd, is watching out for my health. He calls me with lists of food that I should eat – foods that are high in anti-oxidants and low in fat. He has prescribed a good workout routine for me (that I do enjoy each day before I go in to work).

My brother, Shadow, my boss, and my grad advisor are all watching out for my mental health. Shadow and my boss are concerned that I may be taking too heavy of a load this semester. They worry that I want to go forward so badly that I may hurt myself now. My advisor warns me not to volunteer for too many things (even for her) and doesn’t want me diving in to too many projects at the expense of my sanity.

My co-workers make me laugh on a daily basis and remind me that there is not much that is so serious that I can’t laugh at life and myself throughout the day.

Weeo, weeo…my little doppelganger, miss Willow, makes me laugh at EVERYTHING. How can you not enjoy life when an almost 7-year-old gangly girl is draping herself over you and saying the funniest things you’ve ever heard?

And speaking of kids – my nieces and nephews watch out for my heart. They make sure it is supplied with a lot of sweet smiles, big hugs, wet kisses, and heart-stopping love.

Dakota lets me cry. He lets me curl up on the floor and sob when I need to get those emotions out. And then he comes right into that curl and plops his furry body into it and nuzzles me until I can’t help but smile and, eventually, even laugh. When a dog has so much empathy that your pain is his pain, you can’t stay sad for too long.

My friend, Simon, listens to my everyday tales of silliness – and with his dry sense of humor, he cracks me up daily. Then he makes me think and makes my brain work.

I have guardian angels.

And, I think, if we all look into our lives, we all have them. We just don’t always recognize them as such.