holidays
It’s that season again. Black Friday, Cyber Monday – it’s all about consumerism.
Or is it?
Willow and I drove up to the Grand Canyon on Saturday. We took the back route, up highway 64, through the Navajo Nation. We stopped at a few overlooks that gave us spectacular views of the Little Colorado River gorge. Stunning.
While we were driving and talking about what she wanted from Santa Claus, my sweet girl says to me, “Aunt Dawn? You don’t come to my house on Solstice. What do you celebrate? Christmas or Solstice?”
Her family celebrates Solstice. Her aunts and uncles (the majority of them anyway) celebrate Christmas.
“I don’t really celebrate either, sweetie.”
“Why not?”
I pondered. I really didn’t want to manipulate her or to make her feel sorry for me. I wanted her to understand the reasons I don’t celebrate things.
“Those holidays are really about family for me. And while I have you and your family, that’s a time when families tend to spend it with one another. I don’t have my own family so I don’t celebrate it.”
“Oh. But does Santa Claus visit you? Do you get presents?”
“I don’t. Santa doesn’t visit me.”
She thinks on this for a moment. “Aunt Dawn? I’m writing to Santa Claus for you. He will bring you presents this year.”
I nearly started to cry. While the holidays aren’t about presents for me but more about family, it would be nice to be remembered by people who say they love me.
This is a bad time of the year for me. Starting with my birthday, the Solstice/Christmas holiday and then New Year’s, I never feel more alone. I realize, at this time, how lonely being single can be.
I busy myself with things but it is also very difficult. Everyone is talking about the time they will be spending with family, the things they will be doing, and all of the plans they have. My family members tend to be a bit more insular and circle the wagons during this time. Willow’s family likes to spend the time with just their immediate family. My other brother goes to his wife’s famiiy’s house. My sister’s family tends to go to my mom’s house and then to her in-law’s house.
I like the quiet time. Don’t get me wrong. But sometimes it would be nice to have a family to spend time with.
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about 3 years ago
christmas, solstice are those holidays that are so wonderful when you have family but so extra lonely when you are alone … sigh … i remember …
someday you will have your own family to spend it with and it will be loud and obnoxious full of busy and stress and you will love it … i just know it …
about 3 years ago
I can completely relate Dawn….There have been many Christmas in my past that were lonely and sad. An overwhelming time of year for so many people. My solution, I would spend the day at a homeless shelter, helping with Christmas lunch and visiting with the guests. Now, there is a way to put things into prospective. And SO MANY VOLUNTEERS came out, some had to be turned away. THese were magical, in spite of the sadness there was a true joy to be sharing the day with people who were just happy to have a place to be warm and get a good meal. And really, isn’t giving back (not giving a bunch of commercial junk!!!) what Christmas is suppose to be all about?
Huggs, G :)
about 3 years ago
i agree with you, holidays are about family to me, nothing more. I remember my first thanksgiving away from home, I was very sad, although I had summer, i felt alone. i feel lucky that i can still go home for christmas, but i really dread the first year that i dont get to.