photo by me

The aforementioned younger man has written that he’s shy. He has written that he has trouble talking to others. In fact, as we’ve conversed online, I’ve found his ability to create ongoing conversations a little stilted.

That doesn’t matter to me. I like a challenge. I also like to encourage people. So I’ve talked to him. I’ve drawn him out a bit.

We talk about photography. He’s telling me all about the ways you should take photos and what filters you should use and whatnot. He goes on and on about it. I’m willing to listen. Heck, I might learn something from him. So I ask him what kind of a camera he has. He doesn’t have one. He asks the same and I list mine out. And I say, because I guess I’m humble in some ways, that even though I have the tools, it doesn’t make me a great photographer. I’m an avid photographer but it doesn’t make me good. He says that I can keep practicing and he’s sure I’ll get there.

Ahem. He didn’t ask to see anything I’ve done. He didn’t even ask what kind of photography I do.

He wrote to tell me that it might be hard to meet someone because he is shy but he’s willing to try. So I commiserate and tell him that I’m introverted and get scared about meeting people.

He writes me back today. He says,

I’ve never had a problem with meeting someone from the net. You hear all sorts of crazy stories, but I think the vast majority of internet users are who they say they are, especially if they’re willing to meet in person. At the very least, they’re no more dangerous or suspicious than any stranger you might pass on the street.. and most people pass strangers on the street without a thought.

Aside from that, I find that having met someone online before meeting them in person is a lot easier than just striking up conversations with total strangers. After all, you’ve already broken the ice and made your introductions, you know a little about them, and if they’re coming out somewhere to meet you, then you can probably assume they’ll be friendly.

Of course, many people, especially young women, are convinced that either the internet is some kind of alternate fantasy world populated by people who aren’t real, or else it’s full of smelly 67-year-old drug crazed transvestite perverts who are looking for someone to rape or mug. I find this a constant source of frustration.

And I chuckle to myself.

Granted, he knows very little about me. He doesn’t know that I’ve met over 100 people from online. He doesn’t know that 4 of my last 5 relationships were with men I met online. He doesn’t know that I’ve even lived with 1 of those men.

I’m not afraid that people aren’t real or that someone is going to turn out to be a 67-year-old drug-crazed transvestite pervert (heck, that might be fun!).

I get scared because of me. I get scared because I am nervous around new people.

It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.

It really makes me chuckle at how he’s trying to be worldly when I’ve probably been online since he was a kid and have traveled more places to meet more people than he’ll probably ever consider.

But hey, that’s part of the fun of online dating.

Heh.