I know, I know. I may kill this dead horse. As much as I say it’s not a big deal, it is.
I work among people who have their Master’s and Doctorates. Every single day, I’m around people who have higher degrees. So I often belittle my acquisition of one because I think — well, it’s no big deal. Everyone else around me has one.
But you know what? It is.
Several people in my life have pointed out that I came from a place where getting a Master’s degree probably wouldn’t have been attainable for many other people. I joked in one class that I’ve lived a life of trauma: poverty, homelessness, domestic violence, and rape. People aren’t supposed to bounce back from those kinds of things and do better than anyone expects them to.
I have. And I’m pushing myself further.
But I think that I push myself for that validation. I *am* someone. I am someone who is motivated and intelligent and worthy of that validation.
And then things happen that cause me to question myself. My mother, of course, didn’t come to my graduation (or my brother’s, for that matter). Our own mother couldn’t come out of her house to join in our celebration. Yes, she sent a card and a gift to each of us. But those are things. She lives in the same town and couldn’t even come — even though my Dad and all of my siblings came.
We had a party and not one of the people I invited came. While I work around a lot of introverts and I’m probably the worst of them, it still hurt. I understand it logically. I totally get it. But it hurt my feelings that none of them came. So this big celebration that was for both my brother and me became more about him because all of his guests showed up and few of them realized that I got my degree, as well.
He told me, though, that in the end, the people that really matter were there: my brothers and their families, my sister and her family, and my dad. And he was right.
I’ve accomplished something. I know I shouldn’t look outside of myself for validation but sometimes — just sometimes — it’s nice.  You know?
oh honey … you have totally accomplished something HUGE !!! I know, trust me I so know … it deeply saddens me that you didn’t feel that you got the celebration that you so richly deserve because you do. Please send me your address because I would love to send you a little something to celebrate with you in the only way I am able to :)
I have been meaning to send you an email all week with this request but then life gets in the way :p
sending you warm hugs and a jump up and down clap your hands ~ you so rock and inspire and amaze :)
Oh, my dear, sweet Dawn,
We are so proud of you and your personal achievements.
It’s been a long hard row for you to hoe and you’ve done it on your own. Be proud, stand tall, and shout it from the house tops……….you deserve it, you earned it, and you got it. Now enjoy and revel in it.
And shame, just shame on your mother.
Dawn.
I am so proud of you. I admire, so much your courage and your strong will. You will do great things in your life. Things that you can be proud of and things that we will all be proud of you for. Though we aren’t near, we think of you often and will always quietly root for you, sometimes loudly.
I am ashamed and disappointed in your mother for not being there for you. That is her cross to bear, not yours. Don’t let her shortcomings take away from the magnitude of what you have accomplished. It is something great!
I tried to get your email from Tiff all of last week….darned it, she never got back to me. I might have shown up, even though the post man forgot my invite (ahem) :) Wish we lived closer and could spend more time together.
Love you and so proud I could POP!
xo
Your Cousin, Crystal
I admire you. You did something really remarkable. Others may be jealous, or may feel that you are going to leave them behind. But those are issues for them to work out. I hope you can find a way to realy savor this moment.
I understand…