It’s moving time.

There was a time when I loved moving. It was exciting and new. I couldn’t wait to move to a new place. I was packing up and moving so often that I had my own moving team (my family is amazing, I tell you!).

But now, it’s so much harder. I’ve been rooted. I’ve tended my garden and cultivated friendships. This is the place all of my nieces and nephews were born and still live. This is where Dakota came to me and then left. This is where I went to high school, to community college, to university, and to graduate school. This is where I learned my trade. This is where I bought my first stereo, CD, car, and house.

This is where I get to look out my door and see the sun setting over the hills, the llamas basking in the sun, the snow glowing on the Peaks.

Flagstaff has been home for so long, in-between moves, that I’m almost afraid to move. I’ve grown comfortable. Life is finally easy. I’ve made a place for myself.

Don’t get me wrong. This is the best move I’ve ever made. Ever. Period. I’m moving for me. I’ve never done that. Not ever. I’ve always moved to be closer to a man, to chase his dreams. This time, I’m doing it for me.

And maybe that’s what is scaring me. If I fail or succeed, it’s because of me alone.

I know it’s not just that, though. I actually like Flagstaff. It’s a beautiful place that has given me so much to photograph, so many memories, and so many things to cherish. I am going to miss my family more than I can say.

This move requires me to let Dakota go…because he won’t ever be a part of my life in Minnesota. And that makes me sad — because 4 months later, I still miss him so much. I can’t even see other dogs without feeling the loss.

This move requires me to be more self-sufficient. I won’t have my brothers or brother-in-law to call when my pipes freeze, when I need a ceiling fan installed, or when I need to put a fence up. My entire support system will be 2000 miles away.

I’m scared and excited and worried. This is a good move. It really is. I think I need to go through the mourning stage of saying goodbye to an old friend who has done right by me. This town has allowed me to be the best I can be (and the worst, truth be told) up ’til now. Now I get to grow more, be more, and do more with who I’ve learned to be here, in my hometown.