For the last month, I’ve been pretty much bed-bound. I’ve been very sick, venturing out only to teach, then heading right back home to bed to sleep. It hasn’t been a whole lot of fun.
In all of that downtime, I spent a lot of it online to amuse myself (as if I don’t spend a lot of time online anyway! Hah!). I followed link after link, learning about new people, following their blogs, their twitters, their other social networks. And then, out of the blue, it happened. I mean this kind of thing NEVER happens to me. It just doesn’t. I don’t get starry-eyed over many men, let alone those with some celebrity. But it happened.
I got a crush. On someone TOTALLY out of my league. I mean, we will never meet. Ever. Well, maybe someday, but you know what I mean. We move in completely different circles.
I was telling someone about this embarrassing, secret (not-so-secret anymore, is it?) crush. He said he could see why I developed this crush. The man is obviously intelligent, seems well-read, seems to be comfortable in his skin, can articulate himself in the written word (my favorite type), and is interesting. Then he said to me (as he stood in his office on campus (UMN campus, East Bank, if you must know) looking out a window), but you are surrounded by intelligent, well-read, articulate men. You’re in the perfect place for it! You’re going to school at a top university, pursuing a PhD in a field that is full of well-written men. Maybe you should look closer to home, he says.
Uhhh…what? That would require me actually TALKING to someone. And as anyone who knows me knows, I’m not the most outgoing person. I’m pretty introverted. Talk to a man — who may be potential partner material? Eek! I mean really. I can talk to male colleagues, professors, students, etc. But…seriously. I don’t talk to THOSE men.
The days wore on. I read more about my secret crush (and to those of you who know who I’m talking about, please don’t say his name on this blog — it would lead to my certain humiliation, and I don’t need that right now). I read more and more. I followed more links. And I still liked him — for his expertise in his field. But I realized that it would be an unrequited crush, and not worth spending too much time thinking about.
Plus, you know, it would be hard to compare any mere mortal to him. He is, after all, a celebrity.