50 words
50 words (for curtis)
Jun 2nd
I watch, while you are away. She plays you. She feeds your jealousy, your co-dependency. Flaunted in public. You will be required to notice. It’s push and pull. No one wins. I sit, loving you, aching for you to want something healthier. Wanting you to want a better life soon.
50 words
Nov 5th
I’m tired and it’s Election Day. Democrats, Republicans, Independents. Are we as apathetic as the media keeps telling us? I’m being told how I’ll vote before I even know how I’ll vote. Should I vote if the outcome is already clear according to the media? Will you vote? I will.
50 words
Jul 15th
Dead tired today. I can hardly even think. Maybe some caffeine or sugar would help but do I want to resort to stimulants? I’d rather go home and sleep. Maybe, if I talk nicely, my boss will let me go home. Wishful thinking? Probably. I won’t know unless I try.
–
As of Thursday night, I have lost 50 pounds in my journey to a healthier me. I still have a ways to go but at least I know I can do it now. I feel so much better than I did before.
Also, my paper on weight discrimination earned an “A” much to my own surprise. It wasn’t as good as I had hoped it would be. My instructor, however, asked if she could keep a copy because she wants to make weight discrimination a topic of discussion in subsequent classes. She said the paper was very interesting and thought-provoking.
Life has been insane here. I was in charge of the employee picnic for all faculty, associate faculty, and staff Saturday and I need to recover a bit. It was a lot of work.
I learned how to make a certain type of quilt Sunday and am working on finishing it for my sister’s baby shower. I love learning new crafts! Now I just need to get my own sewing machine!
50 words
Apr 2nd
Spring is here, bringing promises of something new. The tumultuous storm we endured last night, swollen eyes exist even now, helped clear the air. Is it enough? Will we find that place where everything is good again? Or will we head back into that place of little communication and sadness?
I should give some background, I suppose. My boyfriend recently moved here from the east coast to be closer to me. He’s feeling deep, deep homesickness because Arizona is so completely different from where he used to live and he is questioning why he is here. He withdraws when he’s hurting and has closed me out. Last night, finally, we talked a bit. I’m raw. I’m sad in some ways but hopeful in others.
I’ve moved in similar ways most of my adult life, having lived all over the place. I love moving. I like the adventure. Our way of dealing with it is very different and I’m becoming frustrated because I can’t make it better for him and because he is withdrawing. He becomes frustrated because I don’t give him the empathy he needs.
We’re lost and trying to find our way back to one another. That’s a hard place to be. So, I’m venting here.
50 words
Mar 27th
I’m on the road…but here’s one for you. I wrote it during one of my seminars.
Nothing is for free but nearly everything is for sale. This weighs me down. Sell your soul for a trinket. Screaming and yelling, pushing and shoving seem to be standard fare here. Don’t force me to take one more step. Please. This is the happiest place on earth? Disneyland. Bah!
50 words
Mar 23rd
My heart is hurting. Will you stay or go? Will you be here tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year? Do you know how much I want you to stay? Do I say it enough? If I don’t, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. If that would help.
50 words
Mar 15th
He was once painted green for St. Patrick’s Day. It’s his day, really. He was born then, 30 years ago. His daughter, born 27 years later, is the redheaded leprechaun that brings all of us luck. She is beautiful, intelligent, bright-eyed and had her day 7 days before her father.
50 words
Mar 9th
You ask me to trust, to believe, to know. How can I when I’ve just barely begun to be with you, to be near you? Words are easy to say. I trust only actions now. To understand me is to understand why this is the way my life must work.
50 words
Mar 5th
I’m trying something new that a friend turned me onto. She writes 50 words that share a feeling. I’ve decided to work on that, as well.
My first investment in this activity:
I am tied to this land as a ponderosa is rooted to the forest floor. Beyond that, we all return to the earth to become fertilizer for the next generation that will sprout up amongst our ruins. The cathedrals and spires of yesteryear making way for the pinnacles of tomorrow.
