doctoral candidate in rhetoric and scientific and technical communication
50 words
50 words (for curtis)
0I watch, while you are away. She plays you. She feeds your jealousy, your co-dependency. Flaunted in public. You will be required to notice. It’s push and pull. No one wins. I sit, loving you, aching for you to want something healthier. Wanting you to want a better life soon.
50 words
0Dead tired today. I can hardly even think. Maybe some caffeine or sugar would help but do I want to resort to stimulants? I’d rather go home and sleep. Maybe, if I talk nicely, my boss will let me go home. Wishful thinking? Probably. I won’t know unless I try.
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As of Thursday night, I have lost 50 pounds in my journey to a healthier me. I still have a ways to go but at least I know I can do it now. I feel so much better than I did before.
Also, my paper on weight discrimination earned an “A” much to my own surprise. It wasn’t as good as I had hoped it would be. My instructor, however, asked if she could keep a copy because she wants to make weight discrimination a topic of discussion in subsequent classes. She said the paper was very interesting and thought-provoking.
Life has been insane here. I was in charge of the employee picnic for all faculty, associate faculty, and staff Saturday and I need to recover a bit. It was a lot of work.
I learned how to make a certain type of quilt Sunday and am working on finishing it for my sister’s baby shower. I love learning new crafts! Now I just need to get my own sewing machine!
50 words
3Spring is here, bringing promises of something new. The tumultuous storm we endured last night, swollen eyes exist even now, helped clear the air. Is it enough? Will we find that place where everything is good again? Or will we head back into that place of little communication and sadness?
I should give some background, I suppose. My boyfriend recently moved here from the east coast to be closer to me. He’s feeling deep, deep homesickness because Arizona is so completely different from where he used to live and he is questioning why he is here. He withdraws when he’s hurting and has closed me out. Last night, finally, we talked a bit. I’m raw. I’m sad in some ways but hopeful in others.
I’ve moved in similar ways most of my adult life, having lived all over the place. I love moving. I like the adventure. Our way of dealing with it is very different and I’m becoming frustrated because I can’t make it better for him and because he is withdrawing. He becomes frustrated because I don’t give him the empathy he needs.
We’re lost and trying to find our way back to one another. That’s a hard place to be. So, I’m venting here.
50 words
0I’m on the road…but here’s one for you. I wrote it during one of my seminars.
Nothing is for free but nearly everything is for sale. This weighs me down. Sell your soul for a trinket. Screaming and yelling, pushing and shoving seem to be standard fare here. Don’t force me to take one more step. Please. This is the happiest place on earth? Disneyland. Bah!
50 words
0I’m trying something new that a friend turned me onto. She writes 50 words that share a feeling. I’ve decided to work on that, as well.
My first investment in this activity:
I am tied to this land as a ponderosa is rooted to the forest floor. Beyond that, we all return to the earth to become fertilizer for the next generation that will sprout up amongst our ruins. The cathedrals and spires of yesteryear making way for the pinnacles of tomorrow.