just a thought

There are those people who can get under my skin so completely that I think of them in the oddest moments of a day.

I can be moving along, getting ready for work, and hear a news report on the radio and think of that person right away because I know it would be interesting to him/her.

I can be chatting with my boss and she can say something random to me and suddenly I’m quoting poets and being reminded of a certain person.

Anyone mentions 5-year-olds or relates a story about a child that age, my niece is instantly on my mind and I can hear her voice in my head. Or mention a baby and my nephew is the picture I imagine, snuggling up to his infinite softness.

I like it when someone gets under my skin. I like that sense of connection, that presence. It’s comforting and exciting at once. It’s like the delicate strands of a spiderweb linking us together.

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Under My Skin
Frank Sinatra

I’ve got you under my skin
I’ve got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart, that you’re really a part of me
I’ve got you under my skin

Don’t you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
’cause I’ve got you under my skin

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“Experience is never limited, and it is never complete; it is an immense sensibility, a kind of huge spider web of the finest silken threads suspended in the chamber of consciousness, and catching every airborne particle in its tissue.” ~ Henry James ~

I have had to add nearly 30 words to my “restricted” list to force the blog spammers to be moderated in comments. Otherwise, the few of you who actually read and comment here would be buried beneath tons of posts about poker, phentermine, and now, magazine subscriptions. So, if your comment doesn’t pop up right away, never fear. I will approve it if you happen to have one of the restricted words in your comment.

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One of my photos is featured on the Windscreen website. It’s just a fun thing and now you know what I’m doing while I drive. No cell phone for me…oh, no…I have a camera! Eek!

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Today is the Super Bowl. I’m not particularly a football fan. I love sports but football has never been one of those sports I’ve really paid any attention to and I think that’s because it was always such a big deal in school. That irritated me. There seemed to be so many other activities that deserved as much attention but they would lose funding and/or interest because they weren’t promoted as much or as well as football.

Anyway…today is the Super Bowl and I won a ticket to a premier party here in town from a local radio station. There is free food and I have the opportunity to win cash prizes. One of my friends is going also so we’re going to meet up previous to that party and then head over together. It’s at a nice hotel and their food is always good.

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I want to learn to crochet. I’ve tried teaching myself. I even took two classes at my local Michael’s. I can’t get it down.

I want to learn because it’s something that the women in my family have been doing for generations. My great-grandmother crocheted an afghan for me when I was born (but I’ve never been allowed to actually have that afghan because it was claimed by my mother). My grandmother crocheted when she could. Even my own mother and her sisters crocheted. I don’t want it to be a lost art that misses my generation.

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I’ve never had the biological clock ticking that I hear so much about…except that lately, I wonder what it would be like to have a baby.

I’d just like to be in a stable long-term relationship first.

It’s not even about me having the baby. I would happily adopt. There are plenty of babies out there that need a good home.

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I’m lost in my thoughts today. I’m trying to figure out what it is that I want and need in life and if the path I’m on will provide those things.

I’m not sure.

“The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.”
– William Blake (1757-1827), British poet

I find it interesting when people ask for other people’s opinions but then either ridicule them, condescend to them, or berate them for supplying that opinion because it doesn’t match the original person’s opinion.

I’m seeing this phenomenon more and more on the bondage.com forums and it is usually in the postings with the most pages because the OP responds to nearly every response. They respond with either “Wow, you get it, thanks! Right on!” or “You’re wrong. You don’t get it. Go back to your momma’s skirts, boy.” There is no neutral ground where people exchange ideas and thought because that’s really not what is wanted.

A person posts his or her opinion as a question and asks the forumites for responses. This doesn’t really mean that he or she wants your opinion. It seems to mean that they want an opinion that agrees with them and that supports their view of the world.

Scary.

There is no room for growth when you look at things so myopically. There is no room for intelligent discussion. It quickly moves to the lowest common denominator and people start calling names or using arguments that have nothing to do with what is really going on.

I know that not everyone will agree with me. I value that. I often get a new look at an old issue and am given a different perspective. This helps me grow.

I say it’s better to grow than to stagnate in our own beliefs because we’re too stubborn to hear a different line of thought.

I live in a fairly rural area. There is little, if any at all, kink in my town. To find it, I have to travel a few hundred miles. To find like-minded people, I have to travel.

I come online to meet like-minded people because it’s easier than traveling to the city all of the time.

Phoenix from an airplane

This is not to say that I haven’t lived in cities where I was a part of the kink communities. I have. But now, I live in a smaller city with little access.

Most relationships for me will be LDR to start. That’s not my preference but it is my reality.

I look at online LDRs as if they were the relationships of my grandparents’ or parents’ times. My grandparents corresponded through mail before marrying. My father was in the Navy for 6 years and only got to see my mom (and his 2 kids) every 9 months when his ship would come in off of a tour. Correspondence was the way they kept in touch.

I’m willing to move for the right relationship. I’m willing to take a chance. I think that finding someone to have a relationship with is worth the time that a LDR may take. It’s worth the effort.

It’s hard enough to find like-minded people. Putting one more limit on that makes it even more difficult.