photos

no children, no pets


photo by me

american life in poetry: column 089

by ted kooser, u.s. poet laureate, 2004-2006

Loss can defeat us or serve as the impetus for positive change. Here, Sue Ellen Thompson of Connecticut shows us how to mourn inevitable changes, tuck the memories away, then go on to see the possibility of a new and promising chapter in one’s life.

No Children, No Pets

I bring the cat’s body home from the vet’s
in a running-shoe box held shut
with elastic bands. Then I clean
the corners where she has eaten and
slept, scrubbing the hard bits of food
from the baseboard, dumping the litter
and blasting the pan with a hose. The plastic
dishes I hide in the basement, the pee-
soaked towel I put in the trash. I put
the catnip mouse in the box and I put
the box away, too, in a deep
dirt drawer in the earth.

When the death-energy leaves me,
I go to the room where my daughter slept
in nursery school, grammar school, high school,
I lie on her milky bedspread and think
of the day I left her at college, how nothing
could keep me from gouging the melted candle-wax
out from between her floorboards,
or taking a razor blade to the decal
that said to the firemen, “Break
this window first.” I close my eyes now
and enter a place that’s clearly
expecting me, swaddled in loss
and then losing that, too, as I move
from room to bone-white room
in the house of the rest of my life.

Reprinted from “Nimrod International Journal: The Healing Arts,” Vol. 49, No. 2, Spring-Summer, 2006, by permission of the author. Copyright (c) 2006 by Sue Ellen Thompson, whose latest book is “The Golden Hour,” Autumn House Press, 2006. This weekly column is supported by The Poetry Foundation, The Library of Congress, and the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. This column does not accept unsolicited poetry.

beautiful nothing


photo by me

I’m reading Sue Monk Kidd’s The Mermaid’s Chair. In it, one of the characters, Brother Timothy, is talking about being outside, in nature, and finding solace and peace there. He calls it the “beautiful nothing.”

It just is. It’s that place where people miss how beautiful it is because they’ve seen it a million times.

It’s that place where someone has walked or passed by on their way to work and have missed the beauty of it.

I think this is one of the reasons I’m drawn to photography.

I photograph everything – door handles, trees, dogs, kids, even my toes or a curl on my cheek.

I find something comforting, satisfying, and spiritual in these things. There is something intrinsically beautiful in all of them. Whether it’s a dead tree, a rusty door handle, a can thrown into the forest, or the curve of my own neck, I can find something beautiful in each one.

So I start to wonder if creating something beautiful out of the beautiful nothing is more important than the creative act itself or is that a part of the process for me? Am I trying to turn all of the hurt and pain and sadness that I’ve seen in the world into something beautiful?

I don’t tend to photograph other people – I don’t do urban/street photography (which seems to be very popular and well-received in online communities). It makes me uncomfortable. It’s too gritty for me. It’s too close to the edge.

I will stand on the edge of an 800-foot sheer cliff and photograph down into a canyon but I won’t stand on the edge of a sidewalk curb to photograph another human being.

Am I creating my own beautiful nothings? I look at the details of a blade of grass but refuse to focus on the frayed sleeve of a man sitting on a street corner.

I think about the world I’m creating, the photos I hang in my office and my home.

Yesterday a faculty member was in my office and he saw my photographs on my 3 monitors in my office. He said to me, “You’ve created your own windows into the world. What a beautiful view you have.”

And he was right.

I see the ocean at sunset.

I see the depths of the Grand Canyon.

I see a shell sitting in a puddle of water.

And it’s beautiful. And it’s calming. And I find solace in it.

And yet, it is nothing. A bright, amazing, beautiful nothing.

doing something


photo by me

“If a day goes by without my doing something related to photography, it’s as though I’ve neglected something essential to my existence, as though I had forgotten to wake up.”
Richard Avedon

I know this feeling. If I’m not photographing, posting, processing, or something else with photography, I feel like something is missing from my day. It is, I suppose, my obsession.

Recently, my obsession has paid off. Literally.

My photograph, inferno, was recently chosen to be published in the newest edition of JPG Magazine. Next week look in your nearest Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, B. Dalton, Doubleday, and Scribner’s for a copy. If they don’t have it, request it.

Also, on the topic of JPG, if you’ll look in my sidebar, I do have a photograph I have submitted for the next theme (Embrace the Blur). If you think it fits the topic, I’d appreciate your vote.

daisies recently told me about an online magazine and their flickr group. I decided to give it a go and submitted a photograph for submission. relativity was accepted into the All Things Girl November/December issue of Glitz and Glamour.

I was recently asked about the different contests that I participate in. I don’t participate in a whole lot actually. But there are several fun memes out there and I do list them on my links page (but I will list them here again).

Also, if you’re interested in having images published, you may look into many of the online (and offline) magazines that are out there (also available on my links page):

If you know of more, send me the links. I’ll post them here and on my links pages.

all hallow’s eve


photo by me

I had to photograph something from Halloween for this week’s assignment. Then I had to write a specific poetry form about Halloween and put it with the photograph.

I chose to photograph a Halloween decoration and to write the pantoum.

The pantoum is a rare form of poetry similar to a villanelle.

It is composed of a series of quatrains; the second and fourth lines of each stanza are repeated as the first and third lines of the next.

ABAB
BCBC
CACA

There can be as many stanzas as the writer wishes. However the ending stanza repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza and repeats the first and third lines of the first stanza. The first line of the poem is the last line of the poem.

The pantoum is originally Malaysian, but was adapted through French and is infrequently found in English.

My (not-so-good) version:

On a cold and dark All-hallow-even,
the harvest has begun and summer is ended,
the ghouls and goblins do hearken,
children are dressed in costumes resplendent.

The harvest has begun and summer is ended,
the moon hangs heavily in the crisp autumn sky,
children are dressed in costumes resplendent,
while tree limbs wave and black crows cry.

The moon hangs heavily in the crisp autumn sky,
the ghouls and goblins do hearken,
while tree limbs wave and black crows cry,
On a cold and dark All-hallow-even.

Happy Halloween!

on assignment


photo by me

Lately I have gone out taking photographs for different reasons than the simple pleasure of photography.

I’m currently taking a graduate class in the education program at my university. This course, Teaching Literacy through Photography forces me to go out and take photos according to a set theme in order to promote some level of literacy within a classroom (typically K-8 but it is obvious, the more I learn in this course, that these tools could be applied to any level of literacy, education, or trainings).

What is interesting is the response to these photographs. I keep getting comments that I’m going outside of my typical photography mode. And while, in some cases, this is true, it’s still me. I’m still taking photographs that are indicative of my vision of the world.

Take, for instance, this photograph to the right. We were told to go out, shoot a scene in black & white and have one detail in color. We then have to write a short narrative about that detail, giving information about it, to determine what is worth writing about. When we are writing book reports, what details are important? When we are writing analytical reviews, how do we choose what piece of analysis receives the most attention?

We have photographed/written on idioms: one for the road and third world (there was also Tightwad but I didn’t post that image because it’s a huge wad of different types of gum and it’s kind of gross). We had to take a walk downtown and find one piece of downtown to photograph. It couldn’t be too obvious because it was our writing that was supposed to fill in the details. We’ve also had to take someone else’s writing and photograph our vision of that writing.

While I do feel like I’m being challenged to think outside of my safe box and that I am going out and purposefully photographing things, I also think that these are still my photographs that show my sense of style or my vision of the world around me.

What I’m really learning is how much media can impact how we view a topic or a concept. It is also important to realize that not everyone is able to contextualize through text and adding images will allow them that ability but will also spark their creativity.

mea culpa


photo by me

This is another photo that has a lot of views on Flickr. I have no idea why. It’s not that great of a shot but I loved the lighting and I loved that I took it in a place that is very comfortable to me – my bedroom.

Yesterday’s entry came from a place of frustration. I was venting and I know I affected some people because of that.

It’s not the desktops that bother me. Well, I mean, it bothers me that people are getting low quality photos (because I don’t post the large sizes or the increased dpi on the internet). And it would be nice to know that people are using them for that – yeah, it is flattering.

I got a few emails from people apologizing for downloading images to their computers to use as desktops. And then I felt guilty for venting about that. I know that it means they like my photography. I know that it means that this is something they enjoy looking at everyday.

So, I apologize.

I think I was more upset about my photo being used by a corporate presence and by my photos being used by people who won’t ever speak to me or who don’t even acknowledge me as the photographer. I work hard on these, spending hours getting the right feel, the right words to go with them, and to get them posted in a timely manner.

My photography matters to me. I love doing it but I also love knowing that others are enjoying it, that they see the work that goes into it. Because, frankly, I don’t have many visitors and I don’t feel like my photography is well-received. So it is nice, just once in a while, to know that it is appreciated.

My apologies to those people I upset. I didn’t mean to do that.

to use or not to use


photo by me

In my line of work, I’m often dealing with figuring out if something falls under the Fair Use or Copyrighted laws and how, if at all, they can be used in a classroom or in a demonstration.

As a photographer hobbyist, I’m constantly amazed at how much people don’t really care if something is copyrighted or that they ignore copyright notices.

For instance, I have this photo of the barbed wire up at Flickr. It has over 6700 views – that’s 5300 views more than any other image that I have. I’ve gone searching to see where it’s linked. I’ve tried finding out why it is getting so many views. I can’t find it. Typically when that kind of thing happens, someone has blogged it. I don’t know who or what or where so I don’t know how my photograph is being used.

If I blog someone else’s photo, I will put a note into their comments letting them know because I don’t want them to think I’m 1) stealing it; 2) using it for a a situation they may not support.

So, it’s sometimes funny when I see that people have used my photography for something and haven’t told me. Or that they are using the low-grade small versions that aren’t great for desktops. In fact, I had one person tell me that I should be proud – she was using my photograph as her desktop that day.

Woohoo!

Okay, maybe my cynicism is coming through just a bit. The thing is, I put a lot of work into these things and ASKING before using is usually nice. But not even saying anything…is that fair to the person who is doing the work?

Should I be honored that people find my work good enough for their desktops or should I be peeved that they are just taking it?

Should I be flattered?

I think it really, really bothers me when a company uses my images when they have CLEARLY been marked as either full copyrighted or Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 licensed. This company, for instance, has used at least one of my photographs and several from other Flickr users and has given very few of us credit nor have they even asked if they could. I have written to them telling them to stop using my photo. But it is still up.

Without getting into legal hassles, how does one make sure that people out there understand that the things we do require time, money, and creative process – and isn’t that at least worth a link or a mention? And in the case of a company, money? If they are charging for their design skills and if they are making money off of their site, shouldn’t they spread the wealth?

disappointment




photo by me

I feel like crying.

I enter the county fair every year with some of my photography. I plan throughout the year, choosing which of my photos I like the best and which ones I will enter into the fair.

I get excited about it. It’s stupid, really. But I know I’ll do okay in the fair and that I’ll get a ribbon or two and it’s nice to get that pat on my back from someone who doesn’t love me. It’s nice to have my work recognized by strangers who have no idea who I am.

So, I was excited to take my photography to the fair tonight. I had matted and framed them. I had figured out which ones were just right for this year’s fair.

And when I got there, I found out that the date they had in their book was wrong.

They had taken the entries on Saturday and already given the ribbons for them.

My heart actually hurt. I felt like crying.

It’s just so stupid but it’s one of the few things I really, really look forward to. It’s fun to go through and say, “That one is mine. That’s mine.” Or to hear people go through and make comments on them. It’s fun. It’s gratifying.

And now I don’t get to do it.

And I feel like I’m being a 5-year-old whining about it.

My sister-in-law told me to bypass the county fair and enter my stuff in the state fair. The state fair doesn’t differentiate between amateurs and pros. We’re all thrown in together. And I know I can’t compete with pros. I’m not that good.

In my little part of the state, though, I am. And sometimes it feels really good to be that medium fish in a little pond.

Even if it’s over something totally inconsequential.

giving back




photo by me

When my beloved nephew, Justice, was born, we didn’t know much about Down Syndrome. I did a lot of research on the internet to find out what we would be facing and what kind of support my brother’s family would need. I talked to co-workers who worked in disability support to find out what kinds of information they had that would assist me and the rest of the family in dealing with this new, beautiful baby who had some severe medical issues (long-time readers, if you will remember, Justice was born a month early and had a hole in his heart).

I contacted an organization in our state, Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona, Inc.. They were amazing. They sent Shadow’s family a large package full of information, books, CDs, and journals to welcome Justice into the world. They sent me a package, as well. They let us know that if there was anything they could do, they would give us support.

Each year, we attend the Sharing DS Buddy walk in Phoenix. It is a fun event where families come together to celebrate their beautiful family members who have Down Syndrome. There are raffles and booths and bouncy rooms and bands and good food. And there is an easy one mile walk where everyone joins together to walk for Down Syndrome. We look forward to doing this every year.

A few days ago, my brother came up to my office with Willow and Justice. He had on a t-shirt that read, “My kid has more chromosomes than yours.” One of my co-workers came into my office later and commented on it. “I loved Shadow’s shirt. That is AWESOME.” I beamed. I nodded. We’re so proud to have Justice in our lives. He’s a beautiful boy who touches us in small ways every day.

In the vein of National Association of Charitable Photographers, I want to give back to the people who have been there for my family and for so many other families that are learning about Down Syndrome.

I have recently created an order a print page on all of my photography web sites. 75% of all proceeds that come from the sales of my photographs will go back to Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona, Inc.. They know of this venture and are supportive of it. In fact, when I contacted them, Gina, the main person in the organization, wrote back to me within a few hours,

Dearest Dawn,
I looked at your website and the picture there is simply beautiful. Thank you so much for your willingness to donate…I will forward your note to my Proud Parent list so they can see what you have and know you are donating a portion of the money earned back to help us here at Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona.
Love you very proud Aunt,
Gina Johnson

And I am. I’m a very proud aunt who loves Justice with all of my heart. If I can give back a tenth of what Gina’s organization has given us, then it will be worth it.

Please pass the word along. If you know of anyone who is looking for photography prints, please let them know about this.

I would appreciate it.

the funniest things…


photo by me

I’ve been busier than heck at work this week. We’ve been hosting a conference for educators and I had to give some sessions, help with labs, be the photographer, and, when I could, attend sessions.

It was a lot of fun but also a lot of work. I’ve been coming home totally exhausted at the end of each night – with barely enough energy to post a photograph, let alone type something up.

A few things happened during the conference that really made me laugh or feel like the center of attention.

Yesterday, I gave a session on blogs. It’s a beginner’s look at what blogs are, what people use them for, a history, and some links. I quickly show the participants how to set up a blog in under 5 minutes using wordpress. We use wordpress because it is the easiest one to set up with privacy and is clean and nice…and I’m a huge supporter of opensource softwares and especially organizations that are really great at supporting social networking. WordPress is both of those things.

As I said previously, I’m a blogging cheerleader. While I don’t think blogs are the answer to everything, there are many things that they are useful for and they can really give classroom settings a different method of expression. That is exciting to me. Anything to get students involved and excited is a good thing.

After the session, I had quite a few people come up and tell me that they wanted to start blogs. Could they contact me later? Would I be willing to give them some pointers? Well, heck…OF COURSE! I’d love that!

Today, Brian Lamb and Alan Levine came to the conference to talk about social networking and social softwares. So you know I’m excited. This is the stuff I LOVE!

The first session, they started talking about del.icio.us. I love del.icio.us. I use it mostly for photoblogs but I really enjoy it. It’s a nice way to connect to others and to see what other people who enjoy the same things I do are looking at.

Then they start talking about flickr and how flickr uses fun APIs. I love flickr’s APIs. They introduced me to a new one, though, that I hadn’t looked at, flickrlilli. It’s cool. They type in Flagstaff and look for Interestingness…and what do they come up with? The image they decide to blog about? It just happens to be my image – and they didn’t even know! I was like…whoa! That’s mine! Big surprise!

At their next session, they are going through their pages and I saw an image that looked somewhat familiar. After the session, I went to the page with Erin and looked at it again. The photograph looked a lot like one of mine. We went to one of my blogs, where I use the image as a header, because I had lowered the brightness on it for a header and was surprised at how much it looked like my photo. I then went to my flickr stream to look at the original to see if it did match theirs. They do look very similar.

I can’t be certain it was mine. There was no attribution. However, I think they are very close. If it is, it’s cool to know it was used for this purpose. If it’s not mine, then it’s cool that someone took a photograph of a scene that is very much like the one I did.

update

I wrote to both Lamb and Levine to let them know how much I enjoyed the sessions and to ask about the photograph. Levine just replied:

Thank you so much for your message and being an engaged participant today…. AND you caught me red handed, I did snag your image and use it and glossed over the exact license in detail (made a modification of it. I am red-faced in embarassment, but it was late last night and I found it right away in flickrlilli.

If you are okay with my use of the image (which I should have asked for), thank you. And my next blog entry will acknowledge this (I believe in showing my warts, well most of them).

You did have gorgeous photos and now I can track them via flickr.

And he did exactly as he said he would. That is awesome. To me, that is what building communities is all about. You talk it out, you create dialogue, and you share things across time and space. Alan Levine is welcome to use my photography anytime – I’d just love to see what he does with it!