social networking

disclosure

2

Not too long ago I was commenting on how I talk to students about social media, about how much they want to share, not share, communicate, etc. because of the ramifications to education, friendships, and other relationships, not to mention future job prospects. The friend I was talking to said that I post everything, that I don’t really sensor what I post.

Today I posted on Facebook about not getting into the State Fair, then shortly after about my latest round of biopsies coming in benign. I was concerned about posting these (and I did not post them to Twitter). Was it too much? What was I expecting from the posts? Why was I posting them?

I posted the Fair topic because I knew of others who had entered. I wanted them to know I hadn’t made it in. I wasn’t sad so I wasn’t looking for condolences (although the ones that did come in were great — and the friends who enjoy my work made me smile). Maybe I was looking for camaraderie? I wanted them to get in even if I didn’t — but maybe it was that understanding that this was a big deal to enter. I don’t know. I really don’t.

I almost didn’t post anything about the biopsies. After my aunt asked about them (in the fair post), it made me think. I’m linked to a lot of family and long-time friends in Facebook. These are people who have seen me through my bouts with cancer, have been supporting me, encouraging me, and loving me as I have dealt with it. I worried that it seemed like much ado about nothing, but I also know that these are some of the people who care the most about me. I posted so they would know.

I’ve questioned myself (yes, I talk to myself) about how much I post, if I post everything, and if I post too much. When friends drop me because I “post too much,” I question my motives.

I realized, though, that I don’t post a 10th of what actually goes on in my life. Not here, not in Facebook, not in Twitter, not anywhere.

The last three weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, but I haven’t let on about most of that. I’ve kept it to myself, only discussing some of the issues with some people, and only all of the issues with one person — my therapist, because that’s what he’s there for. I really don’t find it necessary to share everything. But I do like sharing some things.

I am choosy about who I share with, and what I do share. I compartmentalize. It keeps me sane.

crushin’

3


For the last month, I’ve been pretty much bed-bound. I’ve been very sick, venturing out only to teach, then heading right back home to bed to sleep. It hasn’t been a whole lot of fun.

In all of that downtime, I spent a lot of it online to amuse myself (as if I don’t spend a lot of time online anyway! Hah!). I followed link after link, learning about new people, following their blogs, their twitters, their other social networks. And then, out of the blue, it happened. I mean this kind of thing NEVER happens to me. It just doesn’t. I don’t get starry-eyed over many men, let alone those with some celebrity. But it happened.

I got a crush. On someone TOTALLY out of my league. I mean, we will never meet. Ever. Well, maybe someday, but you know what I mean. We move in completely different circles.

I was telling someone about this embarrassing, secret (not-so-secret anymore, is it?) crush. He said he could see why I developed this crush. The man is obviously intelligent, seems well-read, seems to be comfortable in his skin, can articulate himself in the written word (my favorite type), and is interesting. Then he said to me (as he stood in his office on campus (UMN campus, East Bank, if you must know) looking out a window), but you are surrounded by intelligent, well-read, articulate men. You’re in the perfect place for it! You’re going to school at a top university, pursuing a PhD in a field that is full of well-written men. Maybe you should look closer to home, he says.

Uhhh…what? That would require me actually TALKING to someone. And as anyone who knows me knows, I’m not the most outgoing person. I’m pretty introverted. Talk to a man — who may be potential partner material? Eek! I mean really. I can talk to male colleagues, professors, students, etc. But…seriously. I don’t talk to THOSE men.

The days wore on. I read more about my secret crush (and to those of you who know who I’m talking about, please don’t say his name on this blog — it would lead to my certain humiliation, and I don’t need that right now). I read more and more. I followed more links. And I still liked him — for his expertise in his field. But I realized that it would be an unrequited crush, and not worth spending too much time thinking about.

Plus, you know, it would be hard to compare any mere mortal to him. He is, after all, a celebrity.

all roads lead to congo

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Several years ago, I read Barbara Kingsolver’s The Poisonwood Bible. Of all of her books, this is my favorite and was my latest foray into reading about women in Africa, whether biographical or fictional. I was taken with the power in which she portrayed these missionaries and the people of the Congo. From that moment on, I had a strange affinity for anything that was written or portrayed about women in the Congo, specifically the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC).

Flash forward to November 2008. I am on a mailing list for PhD students in my program. Our director of graduate studies, Bernadette Longo, sent out an email about a class, WRIT 5112, she will be teaching in the spring. She wrote,

This course focuses on the theory and practice of information design. For the first half of the class, we will read about information design, information architecture, and related issues pertaining to this course topic. In the second half of the class, we will work with First Step Initiative, a non-profit microfinance organization working with women entrepreneurs in the Democratic Republic of Congo (www.firststepinitiative.org). We will work with FSI and its founder, Chingwell Mutombu, to design cell phone based social networking tools to connect people in the US (and at the U) with people in Congo, as well as connect FSI entrepreneurs and staff with each other in Congo.

After reading her synopsis, I wrote to her immediately. While I don’t need an information design course, I was interested in the subject matter. It has been my lifelong dream (since I was in high school, at least) to work in an environment or on a project that will make women’s lives better. I gushed. I was very enthusiastic and nearly insinuated myself on her to be a TA in her course. I wanted to be a part of this. In fact, I was worried that I had gone overboard, but Bernadette, being the fabulous person she is, recognized my enthusiasm for real desire to be a part of something wonderful and said she’d she what she could do to help me be a part of the project (I can’t actually take the class because I am already registered for the classes I need).

Since then, Bernadette and I have spoken a bit more in depth about this course. Ms. Mutumbu sounds like an amazing person and I was finally able to have my first glimpse of her in a video produced for this course.

While all of this was going on, I was looking at some websites of activist photographers (one is in Chile, another in Afghanistan) who show atrocities going on in different parts of the world. That’s when I stumbled on Condition Critical, a site that discusses the realities of war in the eastern part of Congo (DRC).

I had been aware of the issues that affected women in the Kivu provinces of  DRC. As Wikipedia states (my emphases)

The war situation has made the life of women more precarious. Violence against women seems to be perceived by large sectors of society to be normal. In July 2007, the International Committee of the Red Cross expressed concern about the situation in eastern DRC.  A phenomenon of ‘pendulum displacement’ has developed, where people hasten at night to safety. According to the UN Special Rapporteur on Violence, Yakin Ertürk, who toured eastern Congo in July 2007, violence against women in North and South Kivu included “unimaginable brutality”. “Armed groups attack local communities, loot, rape, kidnap women and children and make them work as sexual slaves,” Ertürk said.

While this violence is mostly restricted to the east, all Congolese women struggle for a sense of place, ownership, and safety. Ms. Mutombu is making a difference in the lives of women, one at a time. I would be honored to be a part of this.

tweet tweet for 2008-05-26

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  • local news says photos from @PhoenixMars available at 7pm PST (straight from the University of Arizona in Tucson) http://snurl.com/2aluk #
  • I’ve favorited more photos in flickr today than I have in the last 2 months (which isn’t saying much). #
  • @AcmePhoto it seems that you should have asked him for some gas money instead! #
  • @AcmePhoto heh. that could have been pretty funny. Smart scammer, though. I’ll bet someone bites. #
  • [daily photo] symbol http://tinyurl.com/5jblyv #
  • @justG I like Lightroom better anyway. Aperture is sadly lacking in many ways (in my opinion). #
  • @cmiper maybe etiquette courses need to be reinstated? #
  • @justG I love how thorough you are in your evaluations. :-) Maybe I should just follow you around and use the software you recommend. #
  • @cmiper I don’t blame you. That’s incredibly rude. #
  • My brothers have offered to put Mexican food on dry ice and send it to me in MN, just so I can have AZ Mexican food. How cool is that? #

tweet tweet for 2008-05-25

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  • Just watched “Miss Potter” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0482546/) What a delightful movie. #
  • @marklipton I wrote extensively on Second Life and never was a part of that world. It’s not a necessity. Research can still be done. #
  • @ripwinkle it was on Showtime this afternoon (and again this evening). Really well done. #
  • @vmarinelli I want the three goddess moons over celtic lover’s trees in that same spot. :-) #
  • Watching 300 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416449). Not sure I like this much cgi. It hurts my head like hdr does. #
  • 19 obama twits in less than 2 minutes. slow down, man…don’t need the spam and can’t read that many links that fast. #
  • @DaveWares :-) Glad I’m not the only one. #
  • Love this. Create your own Shakespearean sonnet http://snurl.com/2akbx #
  • @rslux so I just looked at their services — they don’t even list Jaiku. Odd. They list Orkut and YouTube and others, but not Jaiku. #
  • lunch: whole wheat pita filled with avocado, spinach, red onion, sliced turkey, and shredded cheese. Very yummy. #
  • It is pretty awesome watching @MarsPhoenix through twitter. Agree with @beebo_wallace. Way to go, NASA. #

tweet tweet for 2008-05-24

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  • Whew. got a lot moved into storage today. My home is *nearly* show ready. #
  • yard sale next week to get rid of half the stuff. #
  • snow warning is finally over. It may warm up to 50 today. W00t! #

tweet tweet for 2008-05-23

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  • You know, I love snow. I do. But trying to move things to my storage unit IN THE SNOW is not fun. And it’s supposed to snow all day. Grr. #
  • @iammikeb yeah, I know (and after 25+ years here, I *really* know). It’s just that I’m trying to move, darn it! :-) #

tweet tweet for 2008-05-22

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  • @cogdog I’m really glad Fresa is ok. She will be in my thoughts. #
  • snow is in the forecast for tonight. It’s a running joke that if high school prom is close, so is snow. #
  • @textbench oooohhh…my appointment is next week for the very same thing. :-) Good luck with that. #
  • @colecamplese congratulations. :-) I’m having more and more fun speaking at conferences (this from a self-affirmed anti-social hermit). #
  • [daily photo] once http://tinyurl.com/5es9lb #
  • Just read danah boyd’s latest blog entry. Got me to thinking: Is the thesis/dissertation process archaic? http://snurl.com/2a3jt #
  • It’s interesting to me that so many of the conversations, that I read anyway, on FriendFeed are about FriendFeed or Twitter. #
  • If you whisper into the social networking sphere, will anyone hear you? Better yet, will anyone respond? #
  • snowing…yep…I said it’s snowing. #
  • @cogdog oh, we typically get snow in May. It’s an odd year when we don’t. :-) #

tweet tweet for 2008-05-21

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  • big fire at the storage facility where I rented a unit for all of my minnesota bound items. Luckily, I hadn’t put anything in the unit yet. #
  • @phdaisy good luck! #

tweet tweet for 2008-05-20

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